South Australia "never to win anything again". Official.

http://www.dailytelegraph.com.au/sport/cricket/south-australia-win-ryobi-cup-following-tie-with-tasmania/story-fn67wv6z-1226281588386

South Australia "never to win anything again". Official.

In controversial fashion on the weekend, South Australia luckily fell over the line against a Battling, Heroic, Full-of-Legends Tasmanian side to claim the last trophy they will ever win. A spokesman for Cricket Australia and Foxtel said that a new competition had been thought up "almost as the last ball was bowled" at the historic Adelaide Oval on saturday night to ensure that Eastern States, who generate all the advertising revenue, will win any future competition. Brendan Julian, 41, said that the win was "a travesty" and should "not be allowed to happen again. The ground was empty and no one likes coming here from the east to commentate." The Redbacks captain, Michael Klinger, spoke afterwards of a 'need for calm, without any knee-jerk reactions from the east" and promised that South Australian cricket would "get back in it's box, where it jolly well belonged."

Fox Sports News sunday morning show put the SA fluke behind an extended set of highlights of England vs Wales, in the 6 Nations, and Poodle Luge from Innsbruck. Cricket Australias' new tournament, unveiled in front of the victory celebrations, will include 5 teams each from NSW, Victoria and QLD. Tasmania, only if Ponting plays, and WA, because Brendan wants them in, may also be invited, in strict rotation, to participate in some way. Maybe as net practice for the proper cricketers. Elder statesman Ian Healy said this would "take all the guess work out of who would win each year." In a candid statement last night, Healy reiterated the need for a strong eastern state competition as they are the states that provide test cricketers. Mostly.

Australian captain, George Bailey, was disgusted with the result and chose not to focus on the furore surrounding the new tournament. "I can't believe the umpires didn't intervene to let us win. Ed Cowan was never out no way. If SA would have allowed the DRS it would have proved conclusively that he was not out and subsequently there would have be no ugly scenes in the players tunnel, with irate free-settlers berating Ed for cheating. There has to be honour amongst players, especially when we say we have caught it, like Ricky taught us. We are a proper convict state and should get every benefit of our rich (surely chequered? Ed.) past."

 A spokesman for News Corp was unavailable to comment as all the information hacked from SACA members phones was still being processed.